My clients often find themselves with "Boomer" burdens. They have worked hard, raised their family, seen their children off to college and on to new jobs and a new life. They were just getting comfortable with their empty nest. They had plans to enjoy some travel and find some hard earned leisure.
They knew their parents were getting older, but they never really thought about what that really means. Mom and Dad were always there for them and were living independently at home. Suddenly, they find themselves having to care for an aging parent who just can't manage anymore. I know, because I had that wake-up call when my father admitted that he just couldn't deal with his finances any longer. It was hard on both of us.
My good friend and colleague, Dennis Brislawn, recently shared this story about one of his clients. It was something I see far too often.
"I had the incredible opportunity to attend my aunt’s birthday party and take this photo. It was indeed a happy occasion for all – especially when she invited everyone back for her 100th birthday party in 2011.
While enjoying the celebration and festivities, I was reminded of the sobering thought of all the financial and legal plans that her only daughter has been saddled with as her mother aged. As the children of aging parents, we never know if we will be buying a celebration balloon like this for their 99th birthday – and it is usually the least of our challenges as the years creep forward for a centenarian parent.
While attending her birthday party, my mind drifted to the many issues her only child has had to deal with for nearly 25 years. Getting to this 99th birthday has been a lot more work and worry for the daughter than for the birthday mother. The daughter has had to manage finances, coordinate moves, work with doctors, screen assisted living homes, and of course, work with the attorneys.
I was personally relieved, knowing I could attend the celebration, wish my aunt a “Happy Birthday”, and return home. My cousin, on the other hand, would be at the party to the very end. She would be cleaning up the leftover cake, policing the party room at the assisted living facility, etc. And she still has to deal with all the fiduciary responsibilities that continue long after the party has ended."
People deal with this reality on a daily basis – most of which are neither easy nor pleasant. In the middle of all of the burdens dealing with their parents they swear that their children will not be unprepared when they need some additional help. Working with caring attorneys and other professionals can often reduce stress and relieve some of their concerns about their future. Dealing with these professionals should never increase the burdens. I hope that over the years I have been able to alleviate some of their worries and made life just a little bit easier for them, their parents and their children.
After all, they have to start planning for the next big birthday party for their mom!
They knew their parents were getting older, but they never really thought about what that really means. Mom and Dad were always there for them and were living independently at home. Suddenly, they find themselves having to care for an aging parent who just can't manage anymore. I know, because I had that wake-up call when my father admitted that he just couldn't deal with his finances any longer. It was hard on both of us.
My good friend and colleague, Dennis Brislawn, recently shared this story about one of his clients. It was something I see far too often.
"I had the incredible opportunity to attend my aunt’s birthday party and take this photo. It was indeed a happy occasion for all – especially when she invited everyone back for her 100th birthday party in 2011.
While enjoying the celebration and festivities, I was reminded of the sobering thought of all the financial and legal plans that her only daughter has been saddled with as her mother aged. As the children of aging parents, we never know if we will be buying a celebration balloon like this for their 99th birthday – and it is usually the least of our challenges as the years creep forward for a centenarian parent.
While attending her birthday party, my mind drifted to the many issues her only child has had to deal with for nearly 25 years. Getting to this 99th birthday has been a lot more work and worry for the daughter than for the birthday mother. The daughter has had to manage finances, coordinate moves, work with doctors, screen assisted living homes, and of course, work with the attorneys.
I was personally relieved, knowing I could attend the celebration, wish my aunt a “Happy Birthday”, and return home. My cousin, on the other hand, would be at the party to the very end. She would be cleaning up the leftover cake, policing the party room at the assisted living facility, etc. And she still has to deal with all the fiduciary responsibilities that continue long after the party has ended."
People deal with this reality on a daily basis – most of which are neither easy nor pleasant. In the middle of all of the burdens dealing with their parents they swear that their children will not be unprepared when they need some additional help. Working with caring attorneys and other professionals can often reduce stress and relieve some of their concerns about their future. Dealing with these professionals should never increase the burdens. I hope that over the years I have been able to alleviate some of their worries and made life just a little bit easier for them, their parents and their children.
After all, they have to start planning for the next big birthday party for their mom!
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